Iron Chef America: Running on Empty

By JULIETTE ROSSANT O my God! I can't believe it! I missed the first airing of the brand-new show Iron Chef America! It started Saturday night, January 1, 2005, a long, late night of kitchen duels for our viewing pleasure: 09:00 PM - Iron Chef America: Flay vs. Sakai (IANS01) 10:00 PM - Iron Chef America: Morimoto vs. Puck (IANS03) 11:00 PM - Iron Chef America: 2 on 2 (IANS04) [Morimoto+Flay vs. Sakai+Batali] My first reaction is to ask, where is Episode 2 [IANS02]? Was the second episode deemed somehow "unsuitable" (translate as you wish) for the first night's run? And second - wait! Hold on a minute! What do I read here on the evening's schedule? Doth mine own eyes deceive me? Iron Chef America (don't forget to add "The Series -- as opposed to all those other Iron Chef clones) went directly into -- RE-runs? Can you imagine that: a TV show goes into re-runs within 3 hours of its first broadcast? Is the Food Network going for some kind of world record or something? Is content running so close to empty that they have to go directly into re-runs -- or do I just not watch enough cable TV to know that this kind of low-stocked content is typical these days on cable? Somehow, I don't think my suspicions of content poverty are too off base here -- especially when I see an online game already in place. Yeah, verily, Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls (yes, especially you Boys and Girls), step right up and welcome to virtual ironchefdom with... Iron Chef America: Battle For Kitchen Stadium. In a few easy steps, you can be playing this Animé-style game. You choose the chef. Be Al Gratin. Be Sultan Pepper. Or, be Cassie Role. You read the instructions. You click the keyboard arrows: you control their destiny. I can just hear Keanu Reeves in the distance, grunting under his breath, "Whoah!" What is this? Back-up, in case the ratings start to flop before they fly? You watch the show. You play the game. You do all the work to make this show work for the Food Network -- is that the game? I don't think so, nope, not for me. What a way to start the New Year! Come on, Food Network! How much more are you going to dumb-down Food TV? Maybe it was time for Julia Child to move on, indeed (requiem in pace). As for me, I've got better things to do with my time -- like go help safe a quarter of the tsunami-ravaged world. Previous articles: New Year's Resolution: Eat Well, Help Others Tsunami Update 2: Race Against More Death Gordon Ramsay Joins Richard Branson in Fox's Reality TV Hell Rocco DiSpirito Wins TV Turkey Dinner More Reality TV Chefs (Or Less)? Real TV Cooking? Kitchen Confidential a la Sex and the City Rocco DiSpirito: Be Warned By Me! Iron Chef: America vs USA Todd English: American Chef Gone Wild Rocco Barred from Reality TV Restaurant Rocco: Trapped in Reality TV's Twilight Zone? Julia Child: The Queen Is Dead